A promise...

I will blog tomorrow. Had a busy day today.

Child Support.

Ruben said he will give me his paternal rights! YAY! But wait as my previous post says I am trying to be more financially responsible. Using my fancy finance addition chart (AKA spreadsheet I created in Excel) I have accumulated about $4,000.00 in medical debt from birthing these children and having them in the NICU. Sorry dude all though your sob story about barely affording rent is truly touching, $4,000.00 is a lot to swallow. After all it did take two to tango.





Also I realized I haven't posted any pictures of just my Joshy :):

My Handsome man.

My Milk drunk baby, He looks so little in this picture.

Blogging doesn't work out for me for the following reasons...

1. I don't know how raw to be- do I want to be Eddie Murphy Raw? or do I want to be Bill Cosby raw? Or do I want to be some fine line right in the middle?

2. I always have a hard time finishing what I start, blame the little ADHD kid inside of me directing me towards something shiny the moment I get committed to a project.

3. Who has time? The boys suck up most of my free time, which I enjoy, but some days I am lucky to find the time to shower. Lately they like to tag team me on their naps, as soon as one conks out and I begin washing bottles or starting the laundry the other one wakes up and asks for my attention. I have also been getting lost in talking to them, Josiah has been talking so much lately but it seems like he is only doing it for me, like it's our little secret! I love it! Joshua has been so much happier lately ESPECIALLY after I started Little Tummy's Mylicon gas drops. He loves his Little Tummy's!... I have also become a little addicted to Lingo on GSN.com.

Josiah talking to mommy. <3

 4. My blog becomes a giant run-on sentence. I pretend to be such a grammar nazi but the truth is I never perfected punctuation.



5. Who is my audience?



So here is an attempt at making myself stick with it.

I have been walking around in a coma for the past three days, although today is the first day that I have started to come out of it. I have been really depressed because my vacation with Shane and the boys was over too quickly and he had to leave too soon.

What was keeping me optimistic was this new job with H-E-B. As lame as it sounds I have always wanted to work at H-E-B, even since I was a little kid. This job would allow me to settle my hospital bills and to start to save to be on my own. I called H-E-B to get the status of my background check and I FAILED. I was completely shocked. The only thing I have on my record is quite a few unpaid traffic violation and one daytime curfew ticket I got when I was 16 and in the parking lot of my high school. THE PARKING LOT! To this day I still try and prove a point by not paying it. I called H-E-B but I only got on the path to resolving it today which is part of the reason I emerged from my Frankenstein-like coma today. It turns out the unpaid traffic tickets turned into warrants. DOH. Now I am on a payment plan and they are no longer warrants. Luckily H-E-B is letting me submit paperwork that I no longer have warrants and if the position is still open I might be considered. Let's all cross our fingers and pray to the grocery gods that I still have that job. I guess this happened for a reason. It lit a fire under my ass to get financially organized. Today I went through all the bills I have copies of (There is way more, I just don't have copies and I need to figure out how to get a hold of my credit report so that I can start the process of rebuilding) and I started a spreadsheet!

Side note: I even called the insurance company to resolve an issue with the boys EMS bill. Turns out they paid Josiah's bill under Joshua's and Joshua's bill never went through because it looked like a double bill for one child. I got it all straightened but I have a feeling that I am going to be doing this a lot because the 150 insurance customer service reps I spoke to today all agreed that this is quite common with twins. Great. 

I have been the most financially irresponsible person for most of my life, although now I am trying to change that. I will teach these boys good money handling skills. I will!! Financial responsibility is a skill I wish I would have learned growing up, along with walking in heels and speaking Spanish. I think this is about as much blogging as I can handle at the moment. Plus I think there is something shiny in the kitchen.

I'm a terrible blogger...

I haven't posted since I was 29 weeks pregnant, the boys are now 2 1/2 months old... whoops.

 

Sleeping in the Bassinet one of their first nights home.

These first 2 1/2 months have been such a whirlwind of poopy diapers, spit up and emotion. I am so over the moon in love with these boys, and I have learned that my body does not nearly need as much sleep as I previously thought. They are really getting fun. Josiah who I now call Josey because of the infamous Clint Eastwood character Josey Wales:

 

 has been smiling and he is such a camera ham! We recently had a photo shoot and he would stop and pose looking straight at the camera and having his fist under his chin! I have a regular baby model!

 

Joshua on the other hand was having no part of our photo shoot. That is just his personality, even in the womb he avoided the ultrasound wand at all cost. Josh is also my momma's boy, he lets others hold him but not for long until he is crying and ready for my moms arms again. 

Things with the sperm donor are non-existent. He came by two times, and was supposed to come by a third. He never, texted or called to let me know he wasn't coming.I had previously told him that if he said he was coming and didn't that it would be the last time. I am trying to avoid the whole looking at 3 year old little faces and telling them that their "dad" is not coming. That would just be heart breaking and how do explain being letdown to a 3 year old. I felt the best thing was to nip it in the bud before it got to that point. When I realized he wasn't coming I texted him his excuse? "I am too tired" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? at this point the boys were not sleeping through the night yet and I had been up just the previous night, all night with Joshua. I reminded him about what I had previously said and told him that I didn't know the next time I would let him see the boys. I know if it was me that I would not take a text saying that I couldn't see my boys and I would be up in arms until I got to see them. I haven't heard a peep from him since. I guess that just shows the difference in our character. All this went down the Tuesday after Easter.

While it perplexes me how somebody could not want to be a part of these handsome, sweet boys. I really know it's for the best. They have plenty of love surrounding them. <3

29 weeks

I had an appointment last Friday so I thought I would post an update. The boys are doing great, I wasn't supposed to have an ultrasound but I got worried because I had been feeling more movement on one side than the other. It turns out it was because they both moved! Josiah is head down now with Joshua, his feet are up just below my ribcage. Joshua is still head down but now his legs are on the left side of my stomach, under Josiah so that explains why I feel more movement on my left. I guess the Dr. realized more ultrasounds would give me peace of mind so she said I will have one at every appointment from now on! This is great because I love seeing my boys any chance I get!  I also took my glucola (Gestational Diabetes) test at this appointment so I will know the results soon. I am having an extremely healthy pregnancy, which makes me feel extremely lucky!!

I am due to start maternity leave on March 1st which is right around the corner! My official due date is April 10th, but twins don't cook as long so my estimated induction date will be March 20th, 2011. Eek getting close!

I am feeling amazing! It is a bizarre feeling to wake up feeling heavier than you did the day before. I am also looking more and more pregnant each day! I thought I never would look pregnant at the rate my belly has been growing, but the other day I received 4 different comments on how pregnant I looked. Jeremy (my brother) even said "Sis, you look like Juno!" lol. Feeling movement still trips me out. Like when your stomach grumbles you already subconsciously know it is going to happen because you're brain is connected to your stomach. When the boys move I have no subconscious warning it just happens!

Well I think that's it for now, but I plan on posting again after my next appointment, :)

Long time no post....

Sorry about the long lag between posts, I promise this trimester to post more often. Update on the boys, Joshua currently weighs 1 lb 15 oz and Josiah weighs 2 lbs 4 oz. Josiah is a ham for the camera already, he always turns towards the ultrasound wand and my last ultrasound we caught him sucking his thumb! ADORABLE! He even likes to prevent his brother from being seen. During my 3D ultrasound he even tried to prevent Joshua from being seen by sitting on his head, and stretching his legs in front of his face. Joshua prefers to be away from the wand by sitting up against my hip bone or cervix. They move a lot at night and the morning. They typically sleep while I'm at work and like to be active when I am trying to relax.

I am currently feeling incredibly happy. I have taken an approach to my situation with the babies dad by just living my life, if he chooses to be involved great he has my number. I am not going to call or text him with updates anymore, especially since he seems so disinterested. I also feel very proud of myself because a good majority of the things I have for the boys I have obtained myself. It makes me feel independent and  self-sufficient. I am excited to see a how my life will change after the boys are born. The other day I was doing some of their laundry and this feeling of joy swept over me as I realized that I wasn't only living for myself anymore. As of right now I am still working, I can still tie my shoes, sit on the floor and get back up!!!

How I found out.

I decided to start this blog so that family (because there is a lot of y'all) and friends could keep up with what was going on in the lives of me and the twins.

On August 4th, 2010 I took a pregnancy test at 6 am. I waited. I looked. TWO pink lines??? There is only supposed to be one.
"FRANCIS!!! (girl I work with) How many lines do you see?"
"Two"
"But there is only supposed to be one..."

Flash forward to later that afternoon waiting in the doctors office I then get medical conformation from my doctor that yes I am in fact pregnant. He goes over my options with me but I already know that I am going to keep the baby and here is why:
Abortion- while I am pro-choice and I believe every woman has a right to decide what is best for her body that is not a personal choice that I could make for myself
Adoption- I know I am not strong enough as a person to carry and grow something inside of me for 9 months only to give it away upon entering this world.

So it's decided I will keep the baby.

My first prenatal appointment was August 27th, 2010. Ruben and I walk in to the waiting room, fill out all the paperwork and wait. The Ultrasound tech calls me back and Ruben waits in the waiting room. She starts the ultrasound but I don't see anything, and then I do. I think to myself "That's weird it looks like the cell hasn't split yet. Hmm" The tech starts to type "Baby A" and I start to wonder "why does she need to put the A? There is only one ba..." and before I finish my thought she starts to type "Baby B". Out loud I say in a very bewildered voice "Does that mean there are two of them?"
"Yes! Congratulations, you are having twins!"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure you're not joking"
"Yes I am sure. Do you have twins in your family?"
"Just one set but the Mom isn't blood related."
"I kinda want to watch you tell the Father"
"Well he is in the waiting room."

I walk out pictures in hand and I walk over to Ruben. With out saying a word I hand him the pictures, He starts to mumble something about Baby A and then Something about Baby B and all I say out loud is "Twins" "Are you serious"
"yup"
"Twins."
"I know"
I then call mom who is just as bewildered as we were. She asked me if it was a joke, and told me that it was not April. She was convinced I was pulling her leg. I then spent the next 5 minutes trying to convince her that no it wasn't a joke. She abruptly ended the conversations saying "I will have to call you back." I hung up the phone and looked around the waiting room. I was surprised to see nobody had grabbed popcorn as the entire waiting room was watching us like some kind of sitcom. Ruben and I looked at each other and just started to laugh. What had we gotten ourselves into?